Imagine being able to transform a difficult relationship all by yourself, without having to involve the other person at all! In this blog, I share the concept of social panoramas to enable you to do exactly that…

 

When it comes to personal relationships, our internal perceptions often dictate how we interact with others. These perceptions, or mental maps, form a “social panorama” – a visual and emotional representation of our social world. By understanding and consciously reshaping these panoramas, we can dramatically improve our relationships, both personal and professional.

 

What is a social panorama?

A social panorama is a mental construct, a sort of 360° 3D internal landscape where we position the people in our lives. Developed by Dutch psychotherapist Lucas Derks, this concept is rooted in the idea that our minds create a spatial representation of our social environment. These representations are not just abstract thoughts – they are visual and emotional maps that influence how we feel about and interact with others.

For example, you might visualise your best friend as standing close to you on your right, exuding warmth and positivity. Meanwhile, a difficult colleague might be pictured as far off to the left, in a shadowy corner. These placements and the associated emotions have a significant impact on how you relate to those people.

To understand your own social panorama, sit for a moment with your eyes closed and get a sense of where your close family and friends are in relation to you – not physically or geographically, but in your mental space. Are they beside you, in front or behind? Are they close or a bit further away? How big do they seem in relation to you? Are you looking down or up at them? Are they facing towards you or in a different direction?

 

How social panoramas shape relationships

The position of people in your social panorama can dictate the quality of your relationships. Position encompasses distance, elevation and the direction in which the person is facing. If someone is perceived as distant or in a negative space, your interactions with them are likely to reflect this perception. Conversely, those who occupy a positive, close position in your panorama are more likely to enjoy a warm and supportive relationship with you.

These internal maps aren’t static. They can change based on new experiences, conversations or even our moods. However, because they are often formed unconsciously, we may not realise how much they influence our relationships.

Take that difficult colleague who always seems to wrong foot you somehow. How are they represented in your social panorama? And how does that compare to another colleague with whom you have a productive and enjoyable relationship?

 

Transforming relationships through social panoramas

The good news is that you can consciously alter your social panorama to improve your relationships, without involving the other person at all.

Here’s how:

Identify the current panorama

Start by visualising the people in your life. Close your eyes and imagine where they are in relation to you. Who is close? Who is far away? What emotions do you associate with their positions? This exercise helps to bring your unconscious perceptions to the surface.

Assess the impact

Consider how these placements affect your feelings and interactions. Is someone you care about too distant in your panorama? Is a challenging person occupying too much emotional space? Understanding these dynamics is the first step toward change.

Reposition key people

If you find that someone important is too far away, visualise them moving closer to you. Imagine them in a space that feels more positive and conducive to a better relationship. Conversely, if someone is too close for comfort, imagine them stepping back into a position that feels more manageable.

Anchor new positions

Once you’ve repositioned someone in your social panorama, anchor this change by associating it with a positive emotion or image. This might involve recalling a happy memory with that person or imagining a successful interaction. Anchoring reinforces the new placement, making it more likely to influence your real-world interactions.

Observe changes in reality

After making changes to your social panorama, pay attention to how your relationships evolve. You might notice that you feel more comfortable with certain people, or that previously strained relationships start to improve. These shifts can be subtle but powerful.

Practise regularly

Like any mental exercise, the more you practise reshaping your social panorama, the more effective it becomes. Regularly revisit and adjust your internal map as your relationships evolve.

 

How can a change within the social panorama affect a real relationship?

Transforming your social panorama can have profound effects on your relationships. By consciously adjusting your internal perceptions, you will automatically behave in a different way with that person. When one person in a relationship changes, this usually has a knock-on effect with the other.

The kinds of changes that will arise include:

Improved communications

When you reposition someone to a more favourable space in your panorama, it can lead to more open and empathetic communication.

Enhanced emotional connections

Moving someone closer in your internal landscape can foster a deeper emotional connection, making the relationship more fulfilling.

Conflict resolution

By changing how you visualise a difficult person, you might find it easier to approach conflicts with a calm and constructive attitude.

Increased self-awareness

Understanding your social panorama helps you become more aware of your biases and how they affect your interactions, leading to personal growth.

 

Summary

Our relationships are deeply influenced by the way we mentally perceive others. By using the concept of social panoramas, you can consciously transform these perceptions to foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Whether it’s bringing a loved one closer or creating emotional distance from a toxic individual, reshaping your social panorama is a powerful tool for personal development and relationship transformation.

So, the next time you find yourself struggling in a relationship, take a moment to explore your social panorama. You might discover that the key to change lies within the mental landscape you’ve created.

 

As a Personal Excellence Coach, I believe everyone has the power to achieve greatness, and every business has the right to employ great people!

Every day is a chance to grow, to learn and to be better than yesterday.

 

Book a free call and find out how coaching could help you.